Thank you for

 Stopping the bus 

There's only

 One or two things that can happen 

Three minutes to get to the dance floor

 

Any takers

 Any volunteers 

I don't think any man could handle labor pain

 

Let me add

 Motherfucker

Yep

 

I would hate to think of you

 As a ambulance chaser 

Un un

 Is it supposed to be funny 

Story television

 This story is about the Harlem globetrotters right