There's only

 One or two things that can happen 

Three minutes to get to the dance floor

 

Any takers

 Any volunteers 

I don't think any man could handle labor pain

 

Let me add

 Motherfucker

Yep

 

I would hate to think of you

 As a ambulance chaser 

Un un

 Is it supposed to be funny 

Story television

 This story is about the Harlem globetrotters right 

It's not me slamming cabinets today

 It's the person above me 

Some of my rocks might have names